


broken crown

by justsomerain



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin-centric, Anger, Angst, Fuck the Jedi Order, Gen, Internal Monologue, Movie: Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, References to the Jedi Council, Slavery mention, fear of failure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-14 18:04:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9197342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justsomerain/pseuds/justsomerain
Summary: "There was anger in him, and he knew that. He had known it since the moment he had been nine years old, put in front of the entire Council, even those who were absent holo-ing in to see the boy whom Qui-Gon Jinn claimed was the Chosen One."





	

There was anger in him, and he knew that. He had known it since the moment he had been nine years old, put in front of the entire Council, even those who were absent holo-ing in to see the boy whom Qui-Gon Jinn claimed was the Chosen One. And he had been terrified, understandably. He had been nine years old and he had just won a race that may have cost him his life, even if he hadn’t seen it like that at that particular moment, but nine year olds rarely have the insights they’ll gain later. Nine years old, a slave, taken from his mother, whom the Jedi had left behind to suffer the blows and terrors of slavery. No wonder he had been terrified, what else was he supposed to be?

And then Master Yoda, a man whom he had been told was the wisest around, a creature who had led the Jedi Order for so many years that he couldn’t help but think there was no way he could be wrong, had condemned him, in front of the council. “Much fear there is in him.” The whole schpiel about fear leading to anger, hatred, the Dark Side.

It was certain to make any child more afraid. 

And he had been lucky enough to Master Qui-Gon had vouched for him, had told the Council that he would train them with or without their permission, but Master Qui-Gon had never gotten the chance to train him. Master Qui-Gon had been impaled by a man in red and black when he had been circling a battle station in Naboo’s orbit, when he, a nine year old, had somehow saved the day.

And so the task had fallen to Obi-Wan, his friend, his brother, his mentor, whom he had given a hard time most of his years, whom he had appreciated nevertheless.

But even Obi-Wan had had times where his approach was more hurting than helping, times where his stern but kind demeanour helped nothing against the anger rising inside him. He loved his brother, but there were times where it did nothing to help, nothing to stem the rising tide of feeling inadequate, of feeling under appreciated.

He had had Ahsoka, and he had let her down, let her be cast out, and he had watched her walk away from the Order, beaten but not broken, and that was the only point of light in it all. He had let her down, let her be cast out in the first place, and he hadn’t trusted her. No matter how many times Asajj Ventress had stood across from him, diametrically opposed to the things he believed in, she had been right there. He had let Ahsoka down, and he had deserved her leaving.

And Padmé. Padmé, whom he loved, who brought light into his life, for whom he would throw everything away, if only she asked, who worked so hard to fight all the terrible things in the Galaxy, whom he could trust, with whom he felt safe, and calm. Padmé would die. He was sure of it.

He knew the dreams were truth enough, even if nobody believed him, even if Master Yoda told him time and again that they were not real, that visions often did not come true. He had believed him, most of the time, when the visions had featured his mother, and he had lost her, unable to save her. He was the Chosen One and he hadn’t even been able to save his own mother, who had been left behind, abandoned by him, abandoned by the Jedi Order, to eke out her own life as a slave on Tatooine, who had only by a stroke of luck found a man who loved her, who had freed her and given her a place to call home.

He was not about to let the same happen to Padmé. He had failed enough people he loved already. 

He was the Chosen One, and he would not fail to protect those he loved again.

If he had to use anger, all the hatred and every single feeling the Order had told him to suppress to save the ones who still could be saved, then so be it.

He kneeled on the hard floor of the Chancellor’s office, head bowed in defeat, slave once more.

“As you will, Master.”

**Author's Note:**

> Listen what I'm saying is that Anakin Skywalker was a young man with PTSD with major mental health issues, and the Council could have prevented things by... idk, offering mental health support to all belonging to the Order.


End file.
